On 2nd November 2020 it was announced that actor Johnny Depp lost his libel case against The Sun after the Newspaper called him a wife beater. This news resulted in the hashtag #JusticeForJohnnyDepp trending almost immediately on Twitter.
Some believe that Johnny Dep was the sole perpetrator, and that Amber Heard was the sole victim. Some believe that Amber Heard was the sole perpetrator, and that Johnny Depp was the sole perpetrator. Others believe both Johnny and Amber were equally as abusive as each other.
Whatever your views, Judge, Mr. Justice Nicol has been severely criticised by many for his ruling in this case. In her YouTube video lawyer, Lostbeyondpluto highlights that the ruling made by Mr. Justice Nicol is rife with bias and a serious lack of judicial reasoning.
I have read the 129-page court document and whilst I am not a legal expert I think it is reasonable to expect judges to display fairness when assessing available evidence/information. Not only do I see a huge amount of bias when reading this document but based on particular comments made by Mr Justice Nicol, I do not believed fairness was appropriately present. On a number of occasions, the judge seems to reach a decision based solely on Amber Heard’s word alone.
As a former victim of child sexual exploitation and adult rape, and as a therapist working with victims of abuse, I know how important it is to be believed. As a therapist who is also working with a growing number of individuals who have been falsely accused, I also know that we cannot live in a world where someone’s word alone can convict a person of a crime. I do however acknowledge that when someone discloses abuse the only evidence often available is their word and this alone is often not enough to convict a perpetrator.
These are of course very complex issues but, in my experience, there is generally a lot less sympathy, support and focus given to those who have been falsely accused than there is given to those who have disclosed abuse. Both being abused and being falsely accused of abuse can have significantly distressing effects on people.
Gender Bias?
Many comments within the court document stand out to me, but one in particular is this one that relates to the recording where Amber Heard admits to hitting Johnny Depp;
“In my view no great weight is to be put on these alleged admissions by Ms Heard to aggressive violent behaviour…”
First of all, these admissions were not alleged. They have been heard my many all over the world, and second of all, it is my opinion that a judge would be lot less likely to make such a comment if a man had admitted to hitting a woman in this way.
Drug And Alcohol Consumption Does Not Make Someone A ‘Wife Beater’
The court document highlights Johnny Depp’s drug and alcohol consumption, and the chaotic behaviour he displayed whilst under the influence. Reference is made to property being damaged and to graffiti being writing on a wall in blood. In the video secretly recorded by Amber Heard, Johnny Depp is seen banging kitchen cupboard doors, and he is heard smashing glasses into a sink.
Whilst I think it is fair to say that being in the presence of a person who is under the influence of drugs and alcohol, and who is displaying such chaotic behaviour can feel incredibly frightening, it is not fair to say that such behaviour will result in violence being perpetrated directly against another person.
There is a significant difference between displaying violent behaviour that physically harms another person, and displaying violent behaviour that does not physically harm another person.
Many men consume drugs and alcohol as a way of coping with their situation believing it will help them forget about their problems, and many people who excessively use drugs and alcohol never display violent behaviour that physically harms others. Often, the violent behaviour they display harms themselves or inanimate objects rather than others.
It should not be assumed that the consumption of drugs and alcohol will always result in a person displaying violence that will physically harm another person.
When men get angry, we often feel the need to take action and physically move, partly due to the testosterone in our bodies. There is nothing wrong with this. What we need to do is take action that won’t physically harm others. It is arguably more preferable to express anger by causing damage to a piece of furniture (for example) than another person.
Criticised For Walking Away
Another coping strategy (arguably a more effective one) is walking away. I have lost count of the number of men I have worked with over the years who, in the middle of a heated argument have walked away and have been severally criticized for doing so.
This strategy should not be criticised. It should be praised!
As already highlighted, men feel a natural urge to take action when angry. Surely, we can all agree that walking away is a more preferable form of action than physically attacking the person you are arguing with.
Many men find that walking away when they feel their anger rising helps them to take control of their emotions, gather their thoughts, calm down and express their anger appropriately. Responding to this strategy with “You don’t want to fight for us”, “You’re such a baby” and “You’re walking away because you can’t handle it” doesn’t help. Walking away is often how you handle it.
In the recording highlighted above Amber Heard highlights that she is “scared” not because she thinks Johnny Depp will hit, punch or physically attack her, but because he will “split” meaning walk away.
When you argue with someone the emotional part of your brain (the Limbic System) tends to run the show. This means that you can be so angry that the part of your brain responsible for good judgement and rational decision making (Pre-Frontal Cortex) goes offline.
If we remove ourselves from a heated situation, find a way to deal with and express our anger, and then return to the situation when we feel calmer, the Pre-Frontal Cortex comes back online and we are more likely to resolve the argument.
We are very unlikely to resolve an argument effectively without the involvement of our Pre-Frontal Cortex.
Not A Genuine Victim
As Johnny Depp was accused of perpetrating multiple incidents of violence towards Amber Heard (all of which he denies doing, excluding the head butt which he says was accidental) some have referred to him as not being a genuine victim of domestic violence. It’s perhaps worth reflecting on what we believe a “genuine” victim of domestic violence should look like and how we expect them to behave.
Perhaps the implication here is that someone is not a genuine victim of domestic violence if they ever initiate violence themselves. If X initiates a physical assault on Y on a daily basis, and then one day Y initiates a physical assault on X are we saying that they are both perpetrators of violence? Are we saying that they are both victims of violence? Are we saying that they are both victims and perpetrators of violence?
Sometimes the picture of domestic violence shows a sole perpetrator who has initiated all of the physical abuse, and a sole victim who has been the recipient of all of the abuse, but the picture of domestic violence does not always look like this. As many studies show, a lot of violence in relationships is bi-directional, so how does this impact our need to label one person a victim and one person a perpetrator? Perhaps something to ponder on.
Victims of domestic violence do not have to appear meek, mild and weak as perhaps the stereotype demands. I have certainly worked with a number of physically strong and muscular men who became very angry when their partner hit, kicked and punched them. Arguably they do not fit the stereotype but they are victims nonetheless.
Using Masculinity Against Men
It is not uncommon for female abusers to use stereotypes around masculinity to minimise the abuse and sometimes manipulate a male into thinking that they weren’t abused. This is present in the recording where Amber Heard says;
“Tell the world Johnny! Tell them Johnny Depp, “I Johnny Depp… a man… I’m a victim too of domestic violence!” And I, you know, it’s a fair fight. And see how many people believe OR side with you!”
Whilst many have in fact and sided with Johnny these words perhaps highlight how stereotypes around masculinity and being male can be used by violent women to try and convince abused men that they are unlikely to be seen as victims because they are male and she is female.
Did Johnny Depp purposely initiate all of the violence directly against Amber Heard that she has accused him of? I don’t know. The only people who know what happened are the ones who were there but what I do know is that Johnny Depp has denied all allegations whilst Amber Heard has disclosed perpetrating numerous violent acts against Johnny Depp.
One thing’s for sure; when emotions are running high during an argument, men should not be criticised for walking away and their gender should not be used against them in a way that minimises, mocks or dismisses the violence that they are sometimes expected to endure.